TURD BLOSSOM

I guess the Earth is not necessarily dropping huge turds more than it always has, we just get to watch it drop the turds more often now, AND we get to see what the turds actually look like!  Todays turd? It's this random-ass person from Dallas, unfortunately, who enjoys her role as a business owner/CEO, but doesn't think women have the right gender-makeup for the presidency.  We wouldn't give her the satisfaction of bringing her up (in fact, let's borrow Karl Rove's nickname and call her Turd Blossom in place of her real name), except her zig-zaggy position on the matter sounded EXACTLY like the response that supporting politicians were throwing around recently in regards to the Freedom of Religion bills.  Their reasoning was pretty much this:  "I'm not saying people shouldn't be free to be what they are and live their lives, I'm just saying that we should have the right to deny their freedom so that ours can be preserved.  But I am in no way saying they shouldn't have their rights, I'm just saying that we need to preserve ours....it's just that the only way to do that is by limiting theirs."  Almost as if she picked up on that meme, Blossom justified her stance: "By no means am I saying every woman out there who doesn't do what I do is a bad female, or that your daughter shouldn't aspire to be the president.  If that's what she wants, that's great, go for it. All it means is that I don't support that, that's my personal opinion."  We have to give her props for taking note of the talking points that were thrown around a few weeks ago on a different subject and reworking them here when the need is to backtrack.  Clevah, Sis!  Clevah, clevah!  I suppose we also have to give Today's Turd mad props for somehow being more relevant than all the other Hoosiers that say random crap on Facebook.  We've been saying random crap and backing it up with a killer soundtrack for years, but apparently if random crap has a great hook, it's not the kind of random crap that deserves relevancy.  Oh, Blossom is also going to move to Canada if Clinton becomes president.  Please do, Blossom!  I recommend a secluded area in the Northwest Territories, as you probably won't have much use for the places in Canada where there are people, considering that those people made Canada the first place outside of Europe to legalize same-sex marriage.  They also maintain a position of legal abortion, pot-smoking, and a way more Obamacare-y version of Obamacare!  We've saved you the research, Turd....you might prefer staying in Texas even under the presidency of a woman.  As a side note - we do not condone a Hillary Clinton presidency ourselves, but would love to see another woman be president.  Fortunately or unfortunately, she has too much sense for it.

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